J.S. Park

Thanks for saying so: that’s a huge compliment and indeed it would be cool to hang.

I have occasionally met people whom I’ve “known” online, and at times I feel I am somewhat disappointing — there’s certainly so much bizarre hype with online presence and the way we can construct our own public images.  We’re not often “real” online so much as a holographic ideal projection of a fantasy.

Truth is: I’m often a sleepy fellow, abrupt with outbursts and socially awkward comments, with no qualms about passing gas in public or laughing loudly in a theater (my friends do not sit near me during a movie: seriously).  I’m a cat person who owns a dog and I order the same thing at every restaurant I venture.  Sometimes I talk a mile a minute, other times I say two words every two hours.  I cry reading the news and randomly pick at my chin hairs.  My sweat smells like burnt taco beef. I run out of breath easily.  I take a long time to stand up or sit down.  People can tell who I am from far away by my strange bowlegged gait.  I’m terrible at every sport; watching me ice skate is like watching Frankenstein trying to run from angry villagers.  I grew up in the ghetto, so there’s some of that in my veins.  I never turn down a dare.  Animals like me.  People assume I’m an arrogant jerk or a class clown.  I like tomato juice, which has accrued many enemies.  I tell friends, “I love you bro” all the time.  I’m allergic to every single fruit except oranges and bananas, and cannot eat dairy (which includes ice cream, pizza, and even soy milk).  I like old people.  I have stage fright and an irrational fear of heights; I won’t walk on the second floor of a mall.  My mom is one of my best friends.

Hope this adds some flesh to an electronic identity.  Totally cool if you don’t want to hang out now. :)

— J