How do you know if you are in love with the person that God wants you to be in love with?
Great question, but let’s first talk about this whole business of “God’s Will.” There are tons of views on it that have confused me for years.
Here are the main views —
1) God’s Will is a Blueprint.
Which means you have to find God’s Plan like getting on a railroad. You would pray for a specific revelation, hear from God, or look for signs and spiritual/gut feelings.
2) God’s Will is His Word.
So everything you need to know about God’s Plan for your life is in the Bible. Mostly out of Proverbs 3:5-6 — Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Anything outside of that, you would pick what most glorifies Him.
3) God’s Will is a Mutual Partnership.
Taken mostly from Psalm 37:4 — Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart — pretty much saying that as long as you’re pleasing God, God will answer. Or more specifically, if your will aligns with God, then you can be sure your actions will naturally be what He wants too.
The Bible sort of supports all three views, but not any single one over the other.
The important thing to know is that God has a Secret Sovereign Plan unfolding, which we don’t know about, and a Moral Will which is His Word. At times God will absolutely reveal His Sovereign Plan, like when He calls you to a mission field or ministry, but other times God just wants you to obey Him and love Him with heart, soul, mind, and strength.
We shouldn’t be seeking God’s Will so much as God Himself. Then other things begin to fall into place.
The other important thing is that God cares less about what you do but most about who you become. He does care what you do, but so far as it’s shaping your heart to be like His.
Keep in mind that all kinds of silly things happen when you complicate the “seeking” of God’s Will. We don’t need to pray about whether to eat at McDonald’s or Burger King tonight: just eat at the place you can best afford and the one you prefer. Your college, career, church, and spouse are not a matter of I better find the right one or I’ve fallen off God’s Plan! But rather, it’s a matter of what can best glorify Him.
Getting on God’s Will is not some one-chance, one-shot, better-get-this-right type of deal. A lot of young Christians are devastated by this type of thinking, as if some are now living a Second-Rate, Doomed-Faith life. God doesn’t have a Plan B — everything is God’s Plan. And even when you screw it up, God will still make good of it even as we suffer real-world consequences for disobedience.
God will still be glorified no matter what you do — He’s God, after all — but He would most rather glorify Himself through you. Biblical examples? Saul and David. Peter and Judas. Mary and Martha.
God was still glorified by each of them, but only glorified through some of them.
So ask yourself:
Will dating this person glorify and lift up the name of Jesus?
Will dating this person most shape me after the heart of God?
Is this person like Jesus?
How will this person lead the home, treat my future children, provide and protect, encourage and exhort, teach and instruct, wisely save and spend, and have an intimate relationship with Jesus?
Perhaps God will reveal a glimpse of his Secret Plan, but don’t count on that. The fleece-test or the Urim/Thummim or casting lots are not the normative, but the exception. We don’t depend on divination to seek His Will. We foremost seek Him. The closer you are to Him and His purposes and wanting to glorify Him, the more certain you can be of wise decisions.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
— Matthew 6:33-34