J.S. Park

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Question: My Will Vs. God’s Will In Finding The Right One

Anonymous asked:

Hi, this is going back on the question: “How do you know if you are in love with the person that God wants you to be in love with?”…what if you ask yourself those 3 questions before you date someone, but you don’t know the answer? Because there are some ways that this person would help me gain a better relationship with God, but those ways aren’t strong enough. Plus, he’s a Catholic and I’m a Christian. Is that bad too?


You’re referring to this.

My friend, maybe I’m totally wrong on this, but by the way your question is shaped it does sound like you might be hoping for an answer that you shouldn’t hope for. 

Sometimes when God gives “no answer,” that in itself is an answer.  But I’ll break this down a little easier: When you ask God about a certain direction, there won’t always be peace about it.  That mission trip to North Korea or randomly evangelizing to your neighbors won’t give you a lot of peace until it’s been accomplished. 

I’ve seen people living in the worst kinds of sin that had more peace than the most loving, God-fearing, demon-fighting, donation-giving churchgoer, but that sort of peace is a counterfeit.  It’s a devil’s complacency.

However, one thing you should absolutely have peace about is your romantic relationship.  While there is no perfect person out there, no one should ever, ever, ever settle for less.

It’s a good thing to be patient.  God doesn’t want you to have the runner-up prize.  God has a knock-out for you who you’ll respect, admire, cherish, open up to, be courageous with, and you’ll be willing to go with to the far ends of the earth.  Even if that dude is not all “filled in” yet, it’s not hard to guess someone’s blooming potential.  Let’s not settle for kinda-maybe-lukewarm-not-sure.

Don’t ever feel like you have to date someone just because they’re there.  This happens way too often: two people of opposite genders within local distance just end up together, not really sure why, then build so many memories it becomes this dead anchor that keeps them spinning in emotionally enslaved circles, and they know they should break up but they’re too scared to be alone or too jealous to let each other date someone else, so they tiptoe the drain until they’re both hollow shells of themselves. 

Yes, there’s recovery from that, but it’s a painful process out of such a twisted prison.  It can be prevented simply by saying, “You’re nice, but no thanks.”  A rejection or a premature break-up is NOT the end of the world.

Your question lets on that this person is probably not going to be helpful in your walk with Christ — you should definitely listen to that.  It doesn’t take a neon sign from God to see what’s obvious here.  Sometimes God’s Will is as simple as taking a step back and seeing the truth, even (and especially) if that truth is something you don’t want to see.