(Edited, and made you anonymous just in case)
Hey J.S. Park! I’ve been following you awhile and love your blog! I saw that you reblogged one of my things and when I hit up tumblr the first thing I saw was a bunch of reblogs/likes and immediately thought, “Ermahgahd I’m so cool!!11” And it was cool, but at the same time I’m scared that I cared too much about it.
Given that you write a lot of sweet messages and that you have a lot of followers, is this something that you struggle with as well? And how do you remain focused on glorifying God first, rather than writing for yourself or for others?
Thank you for all your kind words!
So this is a huge personal struggle that I eventually had to relax about, because the reality is we Christians tend to beat ourselves up over stuff that is probably harmless.
See: I think we exaggerate the battle of “self-glory” and “idolatry” and “vanity” to a ridiculous level, so that Satan is laughing his butt off when the church is hanging their head in shame over nothing.
We really shouldn’t take ourselves so seriously. It doesn’t have to be this dramatic war all the time. The preacher might convince you that feeling good about yourself is evil, but think: why? Doesn’t everyone feel pretty good when they get some attention? Why should we suppress being human?
The point is to know what attention CAN’T do for you. It can’t validate you as a person. It can’t fulfill your emptiness. Having no attention doesn’t mean you’re bad. Having a lot of attention doesn’t mean you’re good. Writing a couple good blog posts, in the grand scheme of things, is just a streak of lightning in the pages of history.
Anyone who tries to fight for that sort of glory is fighting in vain, and those sort of people already know it’s not working.
So if my blog post gets a thousand hits, cool. It’s okay to feel good about it.
If my blog post gets three hits, cool. It’s okay to feel not-so-good about it.
Should we be consciously seeking to glorify the Good Lord every single moment? Sure. But that should really be a way of life instead of a neurotic, twitchy, self-absorbed paranoia. Humility is an attitude, not a dang checklist. To be humble is to begin in a place of gratitude that we even have a voice at all.
You can tell when someone knows the difference here: and there won’t be too much question if their life is glorifying God. If you’re worried even a little bit about glorifying yourself, you’re already on the right foot. Our default setting is to be a glory-hog, and this you are not: because you have instinctively passed it up to God.
Also: you know when people say, “It was all God, not me” …? I remember a pastor would reply, “Well you ain’t THAT good, dude.” Because come on: part of being humble is to not be so serious on yourself. It’s okay to receive a damn compliment.
The important thing is: I’m thankful everyday for any kind of wisdom I can share. I know it’s all by the grace of God, and I know my place.
But I also know it’s okay to feel good when others are blessed. We must certainly watch our egos, but false humility is just pretentious ego in disguise. Don’t let the Devil rob you of joy when the name of Jesus is lifted. Once your inspiration is out there, it no longer belongs to you anyway. So long as you know that and you’re okay with it, you got yourself in check.