J.S. Park

Hey Angry Lady On The Phone: Don’t Be So Angry

Hey angry lady on the phone at Starbucks: it’s okay.  Don’t be so angry.

I know that maybe life didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to, and you’re getting a little older now, and time is slipping away.  But it’s okay.  Don’t be so angry.

Maybe there were a few times that yelling on the phone worked out for you and you got your way. 

Except people only gave in so you would stop yelling, and they don’t really respect you.  Secretly they resent you.  But it’s okay.  Just don’t be so angry.

I know you think this is the only way people listen, and maybe they will for a little while, but you’re going to be very lonely if you keep doing this. 

Maybe you had angry role models, or an angry childhood, or an angry idea of God.  Except you’re past all that, and you still think it’s reality, and it’s become your theology.

Maybe you had an unpredictable home so you feel the need to take back control. Except now your anger is controlling you.

Maybe you were hurt and you said, “Never again,” so now you hurt people back. That’s okay.  None of it means you have to be angry.

You can let go of that now.  You don’t need to be in control.  You can take a breath.  You’re better than this, you know. 

Deep inside you is the thoughtful patient person you were created to be, and you should let her come out to play.  Not so you can get your way, but so you can have a little freedom and joy and peace today.  Not just to look better, but because you are better.  God made you that way.

I know, because I was an angry person too, and God had the keys to my prison.

He told me: It’s really okay. Don’t be so angry.  Be the you that I made.

— J

That totally awesome God-moment when —

— you’re reading the Word of God in a dark quiet place by yourself and end up on your face on the floor, thanking God for just about everything and hardly able to contain it.

Uppercut in the soul, man.  My favorite times.

Question: Celebrity Deathmatch — Joy Vs. Happiness

Anonymous asked:

I was wondering if you could explain what it means to experience “true joy and happiness” that is found in Christ … That biblical statement is pretty much hardwired into my system. I.E. lessons on the diff. between Happiness in God VS the world’s fake version of happiness. I don’t always have a clear understanding on what joy found in Christ means, esp. when I’m feeling unsatisfied with certain areas of my life. (edited for length)

And another anon asked:

I feel like a scribe…”let’s catch him in a scripture infraction” LOL. What is the biblical difference of ‘human pursuit of happiness’ and ‘joy of the Lord’?

Let’s be clear about one simple thing first: you are allowed to feel your feelings. One more time now: it’s okay to be a human being and feel your freaking feelings.

I am absolutely dead sick and tired of Christian blogger-world writing, “Don’t give that cute boy a second thought” or “How dare you cheer at a basketball game but can’t sing loud at church” or “You better have the same passion for God as you do your video games.”  Okay, fine, we get it: we do not base our lives solely on things that can change. 

But you know, if you or I ever win the lottery, I am NOT going to moderate my happiness for the sake of some half-baked theology that is never found in Scripture.  You can feel that feels all the way.  Rip your shirt off, pump your fist, and wave that lottery ticket in everyone’s face.

Let’s look at this biblically: please allow me some grace here as we get into some theology.  The words “happy” or “happiness” show up in the Bible about twenty times, mostly in Proverbs and Ecclesiastes.  It’s almost always bound with external circumstances.  The words “joy” or “rejoice” show up about four-hundred times, and is not surprisingly bound up with God.  You might conclude here that we should seek joy and avoid happiness.  Except the Bible never ever says that.

1 Timothy 4:3-5 blows this “opposing theology” out of the water, where Paul says, “They [hypocrites] forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.”

So it’s actually hypocrites who deny themselves the simple pleasures of life, and authentic Christians can receive good gifts from God (including changing circumstances) with a grateful heart. 

The whole person is thankful for anything and everything, because it’s ALL from God.  Anything extra beyond the sending of Jesus is extra bonus grace.  Our ultimate joy comes from intimacy with Jesus, but life itself is also meant to be received with a thankful humility. 

Yes, it’s critical to approach our feelings with wisdom, to recognize that they don’t always speak truth.  But when you’re taught to be paranoid of all your feelings, you’ll find it impossible to come to God for wisdom about them. 

The Pharisee will shame you for having “other passions” besides God, like that flutter in your heart when you’re attracted to someone.  But God Himself created the whole spectrum of emotions, and He will redeem them and work through them and guide them.  He’ll lead you into what is best.  That could mean you reject that attraction and God is saying, “I have something better,” or you follow a little more to see if this is what God has in store.

My suspicion is that most people reject happiness because it makes them look deep, scholarly, biblical, and mature.  But it is NOT humble to scorn happy moments, as if that makes you a holy dude. 

When your kids graduate high school, when you beat that video game, when you’re just laughing in the theater with friends, when you play catch with your dog, when you clap at a pastor’s joke in the sermon (once a year), when you eat great food at your favorite restaurant — these are all occasions for extreme happiness. And Christians get an even deeper joy in their happiness, because above it all is the God who provides these memories.

When life gets upside-down and nearly impossible to face each day, then we still have a joy that anchors us in our temporary passage on earth. In the deepest pit, God is deeper still. 

God gives us happiness, like cool water over bruised hands, and He is our joy, like an endless well who satisfies our every need.  Let’s be thankful for both, and not create opposing theologies where there are none.

Also read:

- Are Christians Allowed To Be Happy?

- Obeying The Grace of God: He Commands You To Have Fun, Dang It

- Six Things Preached Against In Church — And Why We Can All Just Relax

Question: Can’t Break The Habit of Religious Fear

Anonymous asked:

Hello, so I’ve only been following and believing in God out of fear. And at the end of the day, it’s not the right way to follow him and forcing myself to believe him isn’t really doing anything for me. I don’t know how I can *really* get to know Jesus, but since he’s coming back soon (which is why I’m so scared) it’s really hard to go to him because I want to, but it’s just because I’m afraid. Help please thanks <3

My friend: let’s take a huge breath and relax.  Let it out slowly.  Go to the nearest grocery market and get some Haagen Dazs and Gardettos snack mix.  If that’s not your thing, type in the keyword “lol cats” and enjoy that until your brain is decompressed.

The problem with fear is that fear consumes more energy than it creates.  While it might work as a motivation for a little while, it can’t sustain itself for long-term living.  Having done martial arts my whole life, I’ve had my share of really scary masters, but we secretly hated those guys.  We did what they said but really just resented them.  Those easygoing masters, while they didn’t have us jumping up instantly, were better trainers for the long haul.  We respected them more because we actually liked them.

I understand that “Jesus coming back” or “Hell” or “punishment” are all legitimate reasons for fear, but none of these are even close to the focal point of a sincere relationship with your Heavenly Father.  A pastor once said, “God is like a dad who wants to be with his kids and enjoy them.”  That was, by the way, said by a very-Reformed Calvinist who subscribes to all that hyper-fear theology.

Think of it this way: When you have kids one day (or do have kids), is your main goal for them to be scared to death of you?  That they would force themselves to get to know you?  That they’d be trembling up to the second you come back home from work?  Of course not.  You’ll walk through the front door of your home with open arms and receive them when they run towards you.  Because you love your kids.  Even when you discipline them, the motive is out of love.  God loves you even infinitely more than that.

You’ve probably read 1 John 4:18, which says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”  A lot of us get this confused when we also read Proverbs 1:7, which says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.”

Here’s how we reconcile this.  When you first heard about God and truly understood His holy nature, you were probably in reverent fear of His power.  So of course, the fear of God is the beginning of your knowledge.  But as you get to know Him and see the cross and know how much Jesus loves you and experience him in your struggles and victories, then this perfect love drives out fear.  

If I could chart that out, a believer’s understanding might look like this:

Fear ==> Awe ==> Gratitude ==> Peace ==> Love/Joy

Since we’re human, this won’t always be a linear process, but the maturing Christian will get out of fear-mode and into the gracious arms of Jesus. Even when God rebukes or Jesus comes back, you still have no reason to be scared, because this is His compassion working for the good that you might fully know His love.

Satan is cool with you being afraid of God, so long as you’re not approaching Him.  God wants you to be completely free of fear so you can experience His all-powerful, life-saving love, which is the only kind of love that can transform you into the person you were called to be.  You can tell Him you’re afraid, and He will receive you just as you are.

My friend, be free of fear.  The cross is not Jesus saying, “Look what you did to me.”  It is ultimately saying, “This is what I did for you.”  He loves you, end of story.  He is not like others who might bite back.  He is gracious to see you come running to the front door.